just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
