it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
