how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
