if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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