he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
