Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
