Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
