Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
