And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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