so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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