For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
operation have a gay friend backfired
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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