I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
