i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
