Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Even my vagina gasped.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
