I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
is wine microwaveable?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
