is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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