The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
