Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
