So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
