You really coming over, don't trick.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
