Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
