Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
