It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
