Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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