So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize