We're facebook friends in real life
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
