When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
