I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
