If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize