So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
