i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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