He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
