I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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