whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
