you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
