dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize