I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
