He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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