First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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