so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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