Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
