Tell her she can't have a vagina
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
