Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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