So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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