cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
