last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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