I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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