It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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