And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
