Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your penis caused this!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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