i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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