I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
