She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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