How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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