Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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