Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
